A child dying before the parents should be against the Universal law. These are some thoughts I imagine all parents who have lost children may be thinking. After loosing our son and a daughter estranged I took the liberty to write it in first person for all parents to God.

                                                                                     By Rev. Vera Lauren

Yesterday, I held a tiny infant in my arms. Nothing else mattered. Where is everyone going in such a hurry? Don’t they know my baby was born today? I just want to cry out to them all, hey come look at my baby. Thank you God, I love you.

I remember being filled with such joy at the miracle of it all. The usual expectations of a new parent flashed through my mind. I couldn’t wait for him/her to grow up. I saw us playing together and I wondered where he/she would go to college. I imagined myself growing old and watching him/her with a family of his/her own and wondered if he/she would give me grandchildren some day.

Life went on and things didn’t always work out the way I imagined on that day. Oh my dear (name of loved one), who knew you would be one of my most difficult but greatest teachers. One thing you taught me is I am totally capable of unconditional love.

Today, I held my boy/girl in my arms. Nothing else mattered. Hey, where is everyone going in such a hurry? Don’t they know my boy/girl died today? I just want to cry out to them all, hey come look at my boy/girl. I hate you God.

I can’t believe my boy/girl is gone, dead.  Just saying the word dead is surreal.  I just want to stay under the covers where I host my private pity party. I entertain myself with a mix of tears and laughter. I don’t care about going to work or paying the bills.

 Tomorrow is a blur. My arms are empty. Where has everyone gone? I just want to cry out, but I can’t because I’m all cried out. I’m still mad at God, although I don’t really hate Him.

I do believe, not all, but some things happen for a reason and the God I know is a loving, compassionate, and supportive energy of Love. Although, I will never understand this tragic loss I believe (name of loved one),  had a say in his/her departure and this is what he/she agreed was best. Mentally, I know this. Although, my selfish mind still doesn’t want to hear it. For now all I can think about is my loved one and me. And that’s okay. My personal philosophy is that the number one rule for grieving is there are no rules. I also believe you never get over the loss of a loved one you just learn to cope.

(name of loved one), I didn’t always do everything right, but I did the best I knew at the time. I know you (name of loved one) know this now. Our kids are only on loan to us from God and it was time for you to go home. Thank you for the time we did share. Reluctantly I give you back.

Dear God, Take my tears and string them as crystal Lights for (name of loved one),

to find his/her way home, from my arms to your arms.

Take my empty heart and fill it with understanding.

Take my darkness and pain and fill me with love.

Take my angry mind and fill it with wisdom.

…And (name of loved one),  , this is not THE END

of your story;  instead, we’ll just write, TO BE CONTINUED…